Tolerance Preached ~ But Not Shown

It has been quite some time since I have posted a blog.  Looking back, I realized that I’ve posted nothing since July, 2017.  It’s been very difficult to even ‘think’ about trying to write something.  Not only have my husband and I been busy with Open Range Ministries – we also had an unexpected visit from our daughter during the first part of August, 2017.

My emotional state – along with my physical health – have been through the wringer, so to speak.  I’m sure there are still some mamas in this world that simply cannot take what their transgender children are doing to themselves.  With as little attention that is paid to God – the Creator of all – I’m beginning to think there are not near as many parents that are genuinely upset by what their child does to or with themselves anymore.  Quite a harsh statement about the world in which we live today – but I’m afraid it’s more true than false and that one thought just about makes me sick to my stomach.

~ Tolerance ~

There really is nothing wrong with having ‘tolerance’ as part of our being.  In fact, we are all tolerant about some things in our lives and that’s completely normal.  In today’s society,  I’m afraid that we as a people have let tolerance completely overtake our lives . . This makes it almost impossible for Christian parents to be validated for the pain and anguish they may encounter during the lives of their grown children.  Along with more and more tolerance being taught for most things . . . there are more people everyday who don’t/won’t believe in the Lord Jesus Christ . . . He, by the way, is extremely long-suffering or none of us would still be alive here on the earth . . . And – since God is literally the one in charge of a man and woman creating a child – you can rest assured that He made that child “exactly” how He wanted that child to be.  No, I don’t believe that God is ever okay with anyone changing/altering their sex because He makes no mistakes . . . He did make us with free will – and will allow us to make decisions during our lives as to how we will live, etc.  God will never “force” anyone to do right . . .

I showed great tolerance last August.  My daughter had promised me that if she ever came for a visit, she would definitely shave her face . . . Of course, she didn’t remember even making that promise to me – which is no surprise considering that she had made it when she first started taking Testosterone shots . . . She was still the Elizabeth I had always known, and had no problem with me wanting to see her without a beard, etc.  She showed up with a beard . . . that’s hard to come face to face with and retain your composure, even when you’re a Christian.

My emotions were in a complete turmoil . . . absolutely thrilled that I was getting to ‘see’ my 23-year-old daughter – yet she was really not visible.  After talking with her about that promise . . . I did ask her if she would shave her beard off – and she said no.  That was hard . . . The Elizabeth that I raised, knew, and loved would have respected her parents and their home enough to not show up trying to look like a man.  It really isn’t a ‘huge’ request to not want to see the devastating effects of taking male hormones on your own little girl’s body ~ at least not in person.  That’s something any parent of a transgender child should be able to understand and agree on . . . Of course, there are plenty of those parents out there that are ‘not’ affected by this personally – with their own child – who would have loads of terrible things to say to someone like me.  Even though I was a gracious ‘Mama’ hostess and allowed them into our home, fed them a meal, etc., I was told that I was a terrible mother for the way I had treated my daughter during her visit.  My response to them remains the same . . . Until they have a beautiful daughter who decides to change their birth gender, they have NO idea just how that situation would affect them personally.  In addition to that . . . I was nothing but nice to both of them, and tried to hug and love on my daughter as much as possible during their very short stay at our home.

The act of writing a blog about this growing transgender movement is something that I will continue to do.  If what I post on here can be of help to another parent who is going through this with their own child – it is absolutely worth writing a blog post to me.  Even if my daughter should stop what she’s doing and try to change herself back, I would keep blogging to show other parents that it isn’t impossible for their situations to turn around as well.  Trying to shine a light of hope for those going through this most difficult, and unexpected, turn of events with someone in their own family is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I’m never “truly” okay anymore . . . not completely.  There is always a sorrow in my heart now because of what my baby girl has decided to do to herself.  Without Jesus Christ in my life – I most certainly would not be able to make it from one day to another.

I find it extremely heartbreaking that being able to have your own opinion and/or belief about this phenomenon of gender change, and expressing it on social media is unacceptable to the world today.  Yet – if those who are all for it post about how they feel – then there is nothing that can be said in opposition to their opinion on the subject.  There is literally “no” give and take with those who are “gung-ho” on the idea of transgenderism.  This astonishing and rapidly growing group of confused individuals preach “tolerance” all the time – yet are not at all tolerant with anyone who is against their position on it.  Surprisingly – there’s not even real tolerance toward the family of someone who has made such a life-changing decision.  It amazes me that people are always calling Christians hypocrites . . . I’ve never seen such hypocritical behavior as those “preaching” they’re all for tolerance yet cannot show tolerance themselves . . . even to their own family.

Here is a ‘fact’ about the transgender movement – whether any of them accept it or not . . Changing your birth gender has never been widespread and/or commonplace until just recently.  Yes, there have been cases “here and there” over a long period of time, but it has literally taken society (mainly our children) by storm during the last decade . . . In 1966, the “first” public report on having gender surgery was made in the United States.  And with that came the beginning of people trying to change who God made them to be.  Being widespread and/or something commonly seen or heard about hasn’t happened until recently . . . I “do” know this fact because I was alive back in the 60’s and on.  Believe me – there is NO long history of this transgender idea because it would have been in the news just like it was with the few and far between incidents of those who surgically altered their bodies.  Sadly – there isn’t enough research on the complete effects of taking hormones into someones body of the opposite sex.  Doctors cannot give true and accurate findings since there are no records containing research on the facts with this kind of hormone replacement therapy or HRT.  They are discovering things, as time is passing, for those individuals who have chosen to change their physical appearance to the opposite sex with HRT.

In theory it is quite simple really . . . If someone wants to be the opposite gender, they can ‘learn’ to become the opposite of their birth gender and everything will be just fine. At least, this is what doctors tell the person who wants to change their sex.  It has been documented that this theory doesn’t work – that it is actually a failure when pursued. Cosmetic surgery isn’t gonna satisfy anyone for the rest of their lives . . . All we have to do is look at someone like Michael Jackson. He had surgery after surgery – kept having changes made to his face . . . Is that what made him overdose??   I highly doubt that . . . Just like having surgery to cosmetically change a person’s gender doesn’t always lead them to committing suicide. However, it is a fact that the suicide rate is the highest percentage among those who have Gender Identity Disorder.  A whopping 41% of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their life.  That should flash a warning light to ANY doctor, and give them the desire to try and provide alternatives to their patients before starting gender change therapy.  It is a well-known fact that kids will grow up playing with toys that we may label are for the opposite gender . . . ALL children do this, and it’s absolutely normal.  It’s not a “sign” that the little one is supposed to be the opposite sex!!  When these kids are grown up, 95% of them have no thoughts of trying to change their birth gender.

I genuinely appreciate Mr. Walt Heyer for writing about his experience with gender change surgery.  His research on the subject is extensive, especially since he has personally struggled with the issue throughout his life . . . He went from being a man with a wife and children, to changing his body to a woman and lived his life “as” a woman for 8 years . . . Then he decided to return to his birth gender.  The man has literally spent his adult life involved with this transgender notion . . . Now, he is finally happy as the man God created him to be . . . and he is trying to be a help to transgender people.

I must add some of his writing from the last book that I read . . . It is on point – at least for him – and most likely for the majority of our youth who are being sucked into this strange – surgically altered – life that’s literally a “pretend” world.  The following quotes are all taken from “Gender, Lies and Suicide”. . . I do highly recommend this book for those of you who want to read more about this subject. . .

(Page 121-123)

“Family members, including children, in mind-twisting bewilderment cannot grasp what drove their loved one to abandon their entire family, friends and their very birth gender.  It is like they ran off to live in a gender cult where no real genders exist or are wanted . . .”

[Once the process of changing genders is started] “You lose touch with what is real.  Reality fades as you slip into the marginalized and unknown twisted transgender world.  You, and everyone who knows you, all start to wonder how this great person, even a smart person, stepped into this delusional, unyielding world of twisted genders.”

“Unfortunately in our culture, we have universally embraced the lies that say you can change your gender.  By embracing the lies we have greatly marginalized, suspended and given up on the truth.  The truth is:  it is medically, surgically and scientifically impossible to manufacture a female from a male or vice versa.  Sure, you can surgically mutilate genitals on a man or add tissue to a woman to make genitalia that look like that of the opposite gender.  That would be the surgically manufactured transgender sex gender.”

“. . . families and beloved friends, are desperate to pull the transgender-to-be from the sinking sand.  Most often we don’t find out how entrenched they are until it is too late and they have fallen out of reach.  We feel helpless.  It looks like the quicksand will have a life-long hold on our loved one.”

“The entire transition is filled with mystery to the one undergoing it, but to onlookers it appears very self-centered and narcissistic, and in fact, it is.  The delusional idea that ingesting heavy doses of hormones and undergoing multiple surgical procedures can change one’s gender is pure fantasy.  Living and acting in a gender persona you are not is pure Hollywood make-believe.”

“The transgender advocates envelope the gender changer in a cult-like way, closing the circle and keeping puzzled family and friends out.  Transgenders have often been molested or experienced incest, family alcoholism, or drug-addicted parents – all issues known to directly cause psychiatric depressive issues.”

(Page 130-131)

“Anyone who does not support them (LGBT) is labeled a homophobe, bigot and transphobe.  That’s fine with me; the truth will win.”

“Have no doubts.  Transgenders are not formed in the womb but evolve slowly from unresolved childhood family issues, unresolved psychological disorders and other overlooked secondary disorders the activist therapists refuse to acknowledge exist.  I know from all the letters I get and also from my own life experience that the current method of diagnosing a transgender is so darn pathetic it qualifies as a joke.  There has been no improvement made in diagnosing transgenders over the last thirty years.  My own trip down that path led to my surgery 30 years ago and nothing has changed since then.  I hear often from transgenders and their family members who tell me the same sad story today.  Today political correctness stymies scientific research.”

(Page 133-135) This is from Mr. Heyer’s Chapter titled “Personal Message to Transgenders.”

“Transgenders who enter in a surgical gender transformation commit birth gender suicide 100% of the time.  Thirty percent – those who lose their lives to suicide – will have no opportunity to return to redeem their lost gender but you do.”

“Gender suicide is the only one you can come back from.  You can redeem your birth gender all for the asking if you have an unwavering desire to come back.  Along with the redeeming of your birth gender you will redeem your dignity, health, happiness and relationships and you will see blessings and favor you never, ever, thought possible.  Everything is returned back to you if you desire to redeem yourself.  This I know is true – it is my testimony of life today.”

“You know you did not actually change.  The theatrical cosmetic surgery made you look different but under it all it is still your heart pumping away, waiting for you to return and love the old you in a new life free of pain and sorrow.”

“Many are addicted to the transgender life, no different than the heroin addict with a needle stuck in his arm, not living a real life at all, just an empty, pain-filled shell of a person looking for a way out.  There is a way out but the catch is you’ve got to hit bottom and admit you were wrong.  Perhaps you would have been better off at the very beginning fighting the poison but you drank it and succumbed.”

“If you want a better life, redeeming your gender is a good start.  Not that old broken heartache life, but your original gender in a new life.”

“If you really want the jubilee life with healthy relationships, even with your family, like I have, then it is time to look at faith.  It will be your ticket out so you can join the jubilee celebration.  No doubt that well of poison will whisper out to you, calling you back to all the pain, sorrow, brokenness, and despair but that is no real life at all.”

(Page 138)

“All the studies in this book show a sex change is filled with heartache, sickness, pain, living in poverty or ending in suicide.  Now that is a poison well but you do not need that well and can have a much better life than you ever dreamed possible.”

“You can, if you want, stop hurting your family and others, sucking on an empty baby bottle of empty promises and empty dreams.  It’s your choice.  I’m glad I let go of the man from hell.  He can go die without me.”

“Sucking down the transgender poison is killing you.  You can instead do what I did.”

“Today my life is fabulous because I turned to Jesus.  I removed myself from a life that was poisoning me.  Now I’m free from the old disorders.”

“You can enjoy the jubilee where everything of true value that was lost is given back to you: everything your bad choices took from you or you threw away by how you lived your masquerade life.  You still have to live with the physical scars from all those surgeries but you’ll get back everything that matters.”

~ In Conclusion ~

This man – Mr. Walt Heyer – has a tremendous testimony, and I had to share some of it in this blog for parents to read, and for those “trapped” in the transgender world to read . . . If this portion of Mr. Heyer’s testimony touches just one person’s heart, then it was well worth spending the time to share it.  Remember – this man has been involved in and a part of the transgender world.  He has felt and gone through everything a transgender experiences.  The physical changes to his body . . . as well as the emotional changes that literally do alter the personality of those who are on HRT.

To parents who are dealing with a transgender child . . . I must say that having a relationship with Jesus Christ would be the biggest help for you.  With Him to lean on, talk to in prayer, and guide you through every day when you feel that you just can’t go on, you will find a strength and peace that you’ve never felt before.  All you can do is pray for and love your child – always.

To the transgender child in my life . . . my precious baby girl . . . my emotions, as well as the emotions of your family that were here for your short visit in August, have been at an all-time “high” since seeing you.  We love the person you are – underneath what you are doing to yourself.  The “real” you that is buried deep within somewhere, is one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and I’m not saying that just because you are my child.  Your nephew/brother – misses the Auntie/sister he has known and loved all of his life . . . In fact, he misses “her” so much that he breaks into tears whenever he is asked anything about you . . . He does the same thing when anyone around him talks about what you are doing to yourself . . . It’s an extremely painful thing for that little boy to see happen to someone he loves so very much.  That’s the way it feels to all of us who love you Elizabeth.  All of this leads to the most important question that we didn’t get to ask you while you were here . . . Are you absolutely, positively certain that you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart when you were a young girl??  I am asking you this – just as I asked your brother one Sunday afternoon when he was in town on his truck – because I’m getting older and won’t be around forever.  Mama needs to “know” that you are truly saved, and that I will see you again one day in heaven . . . because I love you sweetheart.

***All quoted material in the above blog, comes from “Gender, Lies and Suicide” by Mr. Walt Heyer – with permission***


10 Things Parents of Transgender People Need To Know

Over half of my life has been spent raising children. It is the ultimate experience. Watching your baby grow, from birth, all the way to seeing your little one graduate and begin their lives as a young adult. As parents, we have many things we want to see our children succeed at in life. I have wanted nothing but the ‘best’ in life for my children, and I feel certain that most parents want the exact same thing for their own kids.

The reason I have written this article, is because one of my children has decided to change their gender and I have not found ‘anything’ that is written for the parents who literally go through a huge gambit of emotions when this happens with one of their babies. I must say that the majority of what you will read here, is from my personal experience with my daughter changing herself into a male. Some things I have learned from her, some I’ve learned through her experience to this point, and some things I’ve read online. At the end of this article, I have listed several places where you can also read about what is happening to your child. Since everything I have found is aimed at acceptance of this whole transgender idea, I decided to write something for everyone else in the family of those who are doing everything they can to become someone of the opposite sex. Believe me, I can understand your pain as you watch the person you ‘knew’ change into a completely different human being, especially after they’ve been on hormone replacement therapy for any amount of time. There may actually be some parents who are able to accept such drastic changes in their children, I’m just not one of those and neither is my husband.

How you find out about your child changing their complete ‘being’, also can be very difficult to deal with. For instance, in my case I read about my daughter starting Testosterone Shots through a Facebook post by her girlfriend. Here is what I read:

“Today was the first chapter of a beautiful story. Today, August 9th, 2015, my darling, Shane Andrew Nicholson, had his first shot of testosterone. This has been a long time coming. It fills me with so much joy to see my soul-mate so happy… I know I’m crying in this picture but it’s simply because I’m so proud. I’ve known this incredible young man for almost a year now and I’ve loved him just as long. And with one push of a needle, so ends the final chapter of the twenty-year-old, damaged diary of a very lonely girl. May the last words scrawled on the ending page read “my story isn’t over” as the second book is born. I am so, so proud of you, Shane. The pen is in your hand now, my love. And with the ink of a needle, may you write your own story as the adventure we will now face together forever. And may every page… Be happy and true. I love you, Izette. Here’s to the first day with my man… And to every one to come. — feeling blissful.”

This is not the way I would have wanted to find out such a thing about my child, but it was how things happened for me. I felt like I was reading about my daughter having a ‘private burial’ – it truly felt like she was being thrown away. Yes, my daughter was 20 when she began changing herself into a man, and I do not believe she was old enough to really make that kind of decision. I truly believe that anyone that young should need to be seen by a therapist for quite a while before actually beginning hormones of any kind. Finding out about the ‘event’ through this post, was absolutely devastating to me – as her Mama. My desire, for the parents who might read this, is that you have found out about your child/children in a much better way. As the parent of a transgender person, it is only right that you actually learn about such things happening from the child who is doing it.

1. It is NOT your fault.
It is inevitable that parents usually end up blaming themselves for most things their child does. It doesn’t matter who you are – one of the first things you are gonna say is something like this, “What did I do wrong?” It’s the first thing I thought when I found out that my beautiful baby girl was gonna turn herself into a man. It took quite a while – and a lot of direction from God – for me to realize that the way we raised our daughter didn’t have anything to do with her decision. I had to turn to Jesus Christ as my main source of strength. Only He was able to hold me together. Other people are important – being able to talk to them about what is happening – especially being able to cry in her Daddy’s arms. Seriously, I was in depression for several months and really wasn’t aware of it, I just thought I was sad. After searching for some kind of help with something natural, my pharmacist suggested Kava-Kava. It helped me immensely. I also discovered some depression drops, and I’m still using them. They have made it so that I can actually do things again, instead of just sitting and crying. Please watch yourself, be aware that depression can hit you – and hit you hard.

2. Treating your child the same.
I’m not gonna kid you. With what you have learned about your child, you are gonna be uncertain as to ‘how’ to treat them. How do you talk to them? Discussions with my daughter are not the same anymore – but I have tried very hard to not change the way I talk to her. My situation is much different than those of you who still have your child at home. Mine is 2,000 miles away, she moved to Kentucky and we live in New Mexico. Honestly, I would have to pray a lot in order to know just ‘how’ I should treat my daughter if she still lived nearby. It is a difficult task, but well worth the effort, if you can keep from changing how you treat your child no matter what is going on.

3. Denying what is happening, can be very harmful.
As I stated before – the decision your child has made is truly gonna break your heart, and could even put you into depression. I’m not speaking of just being sad. I mean literally losing interest in everything around you in your everyday life, hobbies, family, etc. I would expect depression to show up more in the Mama, but I’m sure Daddy could be just as devastated. Most importantly – you have to “face” the fact of what your child has chosen to do to themselves. Always remember it is something they have made the “choice” to do. It isn’t something they have to do. If they truly have Gender Identity Disorder, or Gender Dysphoria, then they can be seen by a psychologist or psychiatrist who can help them deal with their gender disorder – instead of catering to the problem, or just helping them completely change to the opposite sex! If your child is still a minor, that is in your favor, as well as your child’s favor.

4. Be honest with your child.
No matter what, always be honest with your child. Honest about how upset you are over them changing who they were born as. You have every right to be disturbed about what they’re doing. Without you, the parent, that person would have never even existed in the first place. You went through pregnancy, gave birth or held the Mama’s hand while she did, changed diapers for years, made sure everything was as perfect as possible for the baby, nurtured the child, had to ‘let go’ of them when they started to school, helped with homework, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Usually the list even goes on long passed the time they are actually grown up. They need to hear what you have to say, even if it does hurt them. What they are doing, is hurting you, too. Being honest with each other is extremely important.

5. Talk about the “elephant” in the room.
The situation with a child changing who they were born as can easily become an “elephant” in the room. Meaning, there is the problem and everyone knows about it, but nobody will say anything about it. In the long run, it is better if you go ahead and bring up the subject. Talking about it keeps your communication lines open, and that’s a good thing. Later on, you will see a major change in your child … after that, there will not be any ‘real’ talking about what they are doing and it’s gonna hurt you deeply, as their parent.

6. What does God say about it?
Sadly, not everyone is gonna ‘care’ what God has to say about gender. I respect your opinion if you don’t agree with me, but thank you for allowing me the chance to put some scripture to this point. God is the Creator of everything. In Genesis, we find reference to creation where God made man. Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
Genesis 2:21-24 “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
God made Adam to be a “man” … He made Eve to be a “woman”. When God allows we parents to “create” another human being, He also is in charge of the gender that child will be born with. He decides their biological sex – not us. When God created my daughter, Elizabeth Ann, He didn’t make a mistake … and will not smile on my little girl changing herself into Shane Andrew. God has a reason for making our babies gender the way He does. It’s always in God’s plan for each of us.

7. Just speaking with your child will not always be easy.
The first discussion you have with your child over what they are doing to their whole being, is not gonna be easy. You will, most likely, cry during that conversation and that’s perfectly fine. The more you show your emotions over the whole ordeal, the more your child “might” come to understand just how major a decision like they have made, honestly is. During this time, I would suggest that you continue to call your child by the name, and pronouns, that you have always used for them. I never have changed how I refer to my daughter, and she’s been on hormone replacement therapy for 1 year and 5 months. There will come a time – if they begin hormone replacement therapy – when talking becomes less and less, and more uncomfortable than ever. Take great advantage of the time when your child still ‘wants’ to have communication with you – because it will most likely come to an end, and everything will change.

8. How the opposite hormones will completely change the child you knew.
This has come to me by personal experience, and it was (and is) extremely difficult to get through. After I read about her beginning Testosterone injections, we got ‘together’ via Skype for a chat – which was something we did quite often about a year ago. I confronted her with what I had discovered online, and I did break into tears as I talked to her about it. She was mainly upset that I had learned about it online, instead of her getting to “tell” me about it herself. She told me several things about the changes that would take place with her body. How she would begin to grow hair on her face, chest, and back. Her weight and muscles were gonna shift from where they were, her voice would get deeper. Her body would quit functioning as a female, her monthly cycles would cease, and her breasts would begin to shrink. All of these changes could be reversed if she ever stopped taking the hormone – except for her voice, it would remain deep.  (Upon doing the research for this blog post, I discovered that most of the things that will be changed by Hormone Replacement Therapy will remain changed.)  These were things that had been told to her by the doctor that gave the ‘okay’ for her to pursue this change that she wanted. Our very close relationship would never change, she said. It would be alright for her family to refer to her as Elizabeth, like we always had. At one point, she told me that we would still get a grandchild from her. When I asked her how that would be possible since she was turning herself into a man, she simply said that they would have her eggs harvested and impregnated then place inside of her girlfriend. After I thought about that statement for a while, I began searching online for information about how eggs would be affected by taking Testosterone. I couldn’t find anything about that subject. This entire procedure is so ‘new’, there is nothing to check out for results. Since that time, I’ve seen that one female that did the same thing as my daughter, had her eggs harvested “before” she began the injections. As she continued her visible change into a male, she had one of her eggs implanted and gave birth. I must admit, the pictures I saw of this hairy looking male nursing a baby just about made me ill. But I must say, at least she thought ahead about being able to ‘use’ her eggs.
Not only will you see the changes physically to your child, but their personality and emotions will also change. I have watched as my little girl has become more aloof, seeming to not care about the things she did before – and that includes her relationship with Mama, Daddy, and her little nephew that we have been raising. It has seriously broken my heart because my child is no longer visible in the human being that she has turned herself into. When she began those injections, she began killing the sweet baby girl that we had known for 20 years … and as of about 6 months ago, she has pretty much buried our daughter. I can no longer find my child when we speak on the phone. I’m not sure what it will be like when we’re able to Skype again, I may have a complete breakdown. But there’s one thing I can say to other parents who are either already in the experience or headed into the changes from hormone replacement therapy – the odds that you will never recognize your original child ever again, are about 100%.

9. Dealing with the grief over the loss of your child, and they haven’t been physically buried.
It’s difficult to describe the agony that I have felt over understanding that my child is actually no longer alive, yet the ‘body’ that I gave birth to is still walking around somewhere. I can say that it’s absolutely impossible for my child to live her life being Elizabeth and Shane … it’s just not gonna work. She is gonna have to decide which person she is gonna be, because she certainly cannot be 2 people. So far, there is none of this experience that is easy or good. My prayer for my daughter is that God will take care of getting her back on the right path. That she will understand that God made her to be the lovely young lady she had become – and not a man.
Our son, her brother, was able to see her for the first time in almost 8 years just last summer. He told me on the phone the next day about their visit. The first thing he told me was, “She’s gone.” I’m guessing that the physical changes that are present now, would not be advantageous for this Mama to even see.

10. How to find peace of mind when you see no hope.
It’s almost needless to say that you are gonna feel a whole lot of different and difficult emotions throughout the process of seeing your child change ‘who’ they were born and raised as. For myself, it has been one of the most challenging things I have ever experienced … and I would not wish the ordeal on anyone. My source of peace of mind – when it seems I cannot see a shred of hope for my daughter – is to turn to God and pray about the whole situation. He can give me that calm in my heart, and that’s something I can’t find anywhere else. I get a reassurance that He is in control, after all He is the giver of this life that we live. Wherever you may be in this process with your own child, please remember that God cares about you and He cares about your child, too. My prayer, is that what I’ve written has helped you in some way to cope a little better or easier with your own experience. It is possible that I will begin trying to answer questions, or write a blog for parents of transgender people. We need just as much support as the children we gave life to – especially when something as life changing as this happens to them.
Feel free to drop me a note at with any remarks or questions that you may have, and I will do my best to answer you as soon as possible.



How Do Things Get So Crazy?

How things get so messed up – that’s a real good question.  I remember when I was carrying my first child, how thrilling it was to think that I was having a little baby and what a wonderful addition to my life it would be!  At first, yes, it was tremendous!  I could feel the joy that comes with motherhood, and it was a terrific feeling to experience.  In only 5 short years, I began to see difficulties that made me shudder at the mere thought of ever having another child.

I discovered, after both my children were grown, their childhood was something I would long to relive – over and over.  It’s so much easier to deal with day to day life when your children are youngsters and pretty much under your control.  Actually, I would call it more protection than control.  However, life doesn’t work that way, so our children grow up and leave home.  Sometimes their decisions can break your heart … and I’m afraid that is all I have ever known – complete heart break with both of my children.

We – my husband and I – raised our children in a Christian home, that’s kind of a rarity these days which is sad all by itself.  Not just an ordinary Christian home, but one like I grew up in … a preacher’s home.  Life can be extremely difficult for a preacher’s kid – I know that, because I was one too.  There are terrific advantages to being a preacher’s kid, too, though.  For one thing – and the most important thing in life – you have much more chance of accepting Jesus Christ as your Saviour – therefore going to heaven when you leave this world.  I’m truly thankful that both of our children professed their faith in Jesus when they were young.

As a teenager, our boy surrendered his life to the Lord’s work as a preacher.  By the time he was 17, he also felt he would be used in evangelism just like his grandfather.  I must say, that after I actually heard my son preach, he would have been a very good evangelist.  Well, that didn’t happen.  Our boy didn’t become a preacher – in fact, he went to the complete opposite end of the spectrum.  About 4 years ago, he became a ‘satanic high priest’ … Hmmmm, I suppose you could say that has broken my heart – very much.

Our daughter began singing in the church as a young teenager … she has a very pretty voice.  Once she turned 17, she decided that she’s a lesbian.  Now, at 18, she has moved out of the house, has no job or income, with a school loan staring her in the face.  I will never know the ‘joy’ of being able to have a grandchild that could possibly be normal.  Yes, this was (and is) another heart break for me.

What happened?  I have absolutely NO idea.  If I knew, then I would do everything in my power to change things.  This Mama’s heart has been broken severely over her children.  I know, in my heart, that the way my children turned out has nothing to do with the ‘way’ I raised them.  Maybe they didn’t see Mama praying or reading my Bible enough … that’s a possibility, but I don’t think that would change their ‘heart’ and what they decided to do with their lives.  In today’s society – their decisions are not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ … WHAT on earth is this world coming to?!?!  I already know the answer to that question … it’s coming to an end – it has to be.

The best advice this old woman can give any parent of young children now is:  Always pray with and for your children.  Make sure you take them to church because they need to learn of Jesus and His love.  Do the best you can at instilling good values in them … you have no control over what they will do with them when they are grown, but you need to do your part.  If this helps ‘any’ parent, in any way, it has done the job I wanted done with it.  I know there are many people who will call me a ‘kook’ … that’s okay, I grew up being called worse things.  Just remember, God watches everything you say and do … He IS the final authority … even though you may not believe He exists.  One day, all of humanity will believe He is real … don’t let it be too late for you, my friend, call on Jesus Christ today for salvation.

Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Romans 5:8, Romans 10:9, 10 & 13