When traumatic events take place within a family unit it doesn’t only affect one person, it has an affect on every person in that family. My own family has experienced its share of events that have ultimately changed some of our relationships with one another. Whether it is through the death of a family member, a personal tragedy through friendships, severe marital problems, etc., we cannot expect life to continue as ‘normal’ when there is an event that literally alters relationships.
Close families are ideal – at least I’ve always felt that way. There is no greater joy than having a close relationship with your family members. I grew up in a close family, so I was thankful to witness my own little family become the same way. We’ve had severe tragedy strike our family, but every time we have pulled together and managed to make it through with God being at the center of it all. Without having Jesus Christ at the helm of your home, I believe your chances of weathering the storms in this life are lessened by a large margin.
Most of my family and friends know how I feel and believe when it comes to the transgender movement. Honestly – I can say it wouldn’t be something I’d spend much time on, if it didn’t have a devastating impact on my own family. I wonder how many people are holding up signs that are “pro” whatever you wanna do with your body is just fine – when deep inside those same people are “thankful” that what they are for, isn’t something that one of their own loved ones has decided to do in their life. Yeah – everything is just fine, unless it touches one of your family members. That’s something wrong with today’s Christianity. I, personally – as a Christian, want to change that in myself … whether something “touches” my life or not … I wanna speak up for what’s right in this world that’s following such a dark path. All too often, we Christians will take the easy road through things that go completely against God’s Word and creation.
I’ve been reading some books on the transgender topic, and I must say that what I’ve read so far fits myself and my family very well. Most likely, if you have a loved one with gender confusion, what I’ve found would fit you and your situation too. In my family, the stakes are TOO HIGH for me to simply sit down and be quiet. One of my biggest blessings in this life – a piece of my heart – my precious baby girl, is one such person affected by this gender confusion.
After discovering that our daughter was beginning Testosterone shots in August, 2015, I have tried to read and learn as much as possible on the topic. I just recently finished reading a book entitled, “Transgender Confusion A Biblical Based Q&A For Families”. It is written by Denise Shick. I would highly recommend this book to the families who are dealing with a loved one trapped by a very real disorder. Yes, Gender Identity Disorder is real, and it is psychological. It is a condition that should be treated through therapy and possibly with medication as well. It is NOT a physical condition, and does not require a ‘blank check’ being written for hormone replacement therapy and/or cosmetic surgery. Yet, the latter choice seems to be the treatment for anyone suffering from this psychological problem. Denise Shick put it this way in her book. “The earlier the treatment is offered, the better one’s outcome is likely to be in coming to terms with and embracing his or her God-given gender.” (Page 12)
From the moment I read the introduction to the above book, I was anxious to read more. Here is an excerpt from that introduction.
Ten years ago, few had ever heard the term transgender. When I was a child, virtually no one had heard the term. Oh, how things have changed in less than one generation. These days you cannot watch or read the news without hearing a story of this rapidly escalating movement in which truth and fantasy have become synonymous and lives are destroyed daily. Yet, in spite of all the publicity, most people are unaware of the damage the entire family suffers when a loved one falls under the spell of an impression that he or she was born in the wrong body.
The Bible reveals that the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:22). God made man and woman, each distinctively and purposefully, but our culture has largely rejected even the concept of a God. And, because of that rejection, our culture has also rejected the sacredness of a person’s God-given gender. The serpent’s ancient fabrication in Genesis 3:4 – Ye shall not surely die – echoes through our popular media, clinics, and hospital hallways. But with each transgender makeover, one of God’s creations does die, only to be resurrected in a form foreign to the Creator’s design for that unique individual. (Page 2)
As I live my life from day-to-day, there are people I see who are in the process of changing their body to “fit” the gender they believe themselves to be. To be sure, it disturbs me to no end. When I think about my own child making changes to her God-given body, my heart just breaks even more. In fact, I’ve never felt such an intense pain – and I have suffered many things over my 56 years. Losing both of my parents in death, hasn’t given me as much pain as I’ve felt over just the ‘thought’ of my beautiful daughter altering her physical body.
Yesterday, I came across several of my little girl’s toys and my heart was filled with such sweet memories of the days when she played and enjoyed life every moment she was awake. Memories should not bring sadness … they should bring such a sweet calm to you. Those sweet memories should continue on in your child’s life, not abruptly come to a stop because they no longer exist … your child still exists on the earth – unless, of course, you have lost them through a tragic accident or bad health. Oh, how many times I’ve wished that keeping quiet would make things just disappear and everything about life would be alright. Reality doesn’t work that way though, and we must play the cards we are given. It’s a terrible spot for every member of a family that has a loved one who has the notion that they will be happier if they just change their appearance.
Once again this book spoke directly to me … at the very core of the transgender issue…
Various reasons can motivate a person to step out of maleness or femaleness and choose the opposite gender identity. The point is, both the males and females who choose this drastic change have rejected their God-given gender because of their unhappiness, disappointment, and resentment. A break has occurred between their heart and soul. (Page 9)
Then, there is the question of whether or not the person was born this way … That’s been used for many years as the excuse for homosexual behavior, so I would guess that it’s also being used as an excuse for the transperson wanting to change ‘who’ they appear to be. Again – the author covers that question in her book…
No studies have proved that anyone has been born transgender. No matter how many cosmetic surgeries and hormones one has ingested, his or her biology, (sex chromosomes), neurology, and genetic composition (DNA) remains unchangeable. The person’s reproductive system is the one he or she was born with. The born-that-way theories are nothing more than propaganda purported by advocates who want to gain public sympathy and approval. (Page 9)
Actually, some of my first thoughts on the subject of being transgender have now come full circle. The main and most important one is this … After doing everything a person can do to change themselves into a different person, and one of the opposite sex, absolutely nothing is gonna change on the inside of that human being. If they are unhappy with who and what they are before changing anything like their appearance – then changing their appearance is certainly not gonna change their feelings of unhappiness. Sure, they are bound to feel a little different at first – but the sadness, along with all of the other feelings they were experiencing ‘before’ changing their body will return to torment them. We can’t fix something that is psychological by altering our body – that is just a fact.
I do love my daughter, and she knows it. I try not to judge her, or anyone else for that matter. To support her with parental love – I can do that, but I can’t support her in what she has decided to do to herself. That doesn’t mean that I will look at her as a ‘freak’ or anything like that…it simply means that I won’t condone what she has chosen – and she is aware of that and respects me for it. She came out to her Daddy and I as being a lesbian when she was a teenager still living at home. She knew that we would never condone/agree with that lifestyle – but we never turned our back on her, or stopped loving her. I appreciate her waiting to ‘alter’ her gender until she moved away from home. To me, that shows that she respects her parents – and shows that she learned the values that we tried to instill in her. I truly believe that our children need to understand that we love them – unconditionally – because we do. Being tolerant only shows them that you accept “whatever” they do. When they have been raised to know right from wrong, then they already know that their parents won’t accept just anything they do, but they also know that their parents will always love them.