Tolerance Preached ~ But Not Shown

It has been quite some time since I have posted a blog.  Looking back, I realized that I’ve posted nothing since July, 2017.  It’s been very difficult to even ‘think’ about trying to write something.  Not only have my husband and I been busy with Open Range Ministries – we also had an unexpected visit from our daughter during the first part of August, 2017.

My emotional state – along with my physical health – have been through the wringer, so to speak.  I’m sure there are still some mamas in this world that simply cannot take what their transgender children are doing to themselves.  With as little attention that is paid to God – the Creator of all – I’m beginning to think there are not near as many parents that are genuinely upset by what their child does to or with themselves anymore.  Quite a harsh statement about the world in which we live today – but I’m afraid it’s more true than false and that one thought just about makes me sick to my stomach.

~ Tolerance ~

There really is nothing wrong with having ‘tolerance’ as part of our being.  In fact, we are all tolerant about some things in our lives and that’s completely normal.  In today’s society,  I’m afraid that we as a people have let tolerance completely overtake our lives . . This makes it almost impossible for Christian parents to be validated for the pain and anguish they may encounter during the lives of their grown children.  Along with more and more tolerance being taught for most things . . . there are more people everyday who don’t/won’t believe in the Lord Jesus Christ . . . He, by the way, is extremely long-suffering or none of us would still be alive here on the earth . . . And – since God is literally the one in charge of a man and woman creating a child – you can rest assured that He made that child “exactly” how He wanted that child to be.  No, I don’t believe that God is ever okay with anyone changing/altering their sex because He makes no mistakes . . . He did make us with free will – and will allow us to make decisions during our lives as to how we will live, etc.  God will never “force” anyone to do right . . .

I showed great tolerance last August.  My daughter had promised me that if she ever came for a visit, she would definitely shave her face . . . Of course, she didn’t remember even making that promise to me – which is no surprise considering that she had made it when she first started taking Testosterone shots . . . She was still the Elizabeth I had always known, and had no problem with me wanting to see her without a beard, etc.  She showed up with a beard . . . that’s hard to come face to face with and retain your composure, even when you’re a Christian.

My emotions were in a complete turmoil . . . absolutely thrilled that I was getting to ‘see’ my 23-year-old daughter – yet she was really not visible.  After talking with her about that promise . . . I did ask her if she would shave her beard off – and she said no.  That was hard . . . The Elizabeth that I raised, knew, and loved would have respected her parents and their home enough to not show up trying to look like a man.  It really isn’t a ‘huge’ request to not want to see the devastating effects of taking male hormones on your own little girl’s body ~ at least not in person.  That’s something any parent of a transgender child should be able to understand and agree on . . . Of course, there are plenty of those parents out there that are ‘not’ affected by this personally – with their own child – who would have loads of terrible things to say to someone like me.  Even though I was a gracious ‘Mama’ hostess and allowed them into our home, fed them a meal, etc., I was told that I was a terrible mother for the way I had treated my daughter during her visit.  My response to them remains the same . . . Until they have a beautiful daughter who decides to change their birth gender, they have NO idea just how that situation would affect them personally.  In addition to that . . . I was nothing but nice to both of them, and tried to hug and love on my daughter as much as possible during their very short stay at our home.

The act of writing a blog about this growing transgender movement is something that I will continue to do.  If what I post on here can be of help to another parent who is going through this with their own child – it is absolutely worth writing a blog post to me.  Even if my daughter should stop what she’s doing and try to change herself back, I would keep blogging to show other parents that it isn’t impossible for their situations to turn around as well.  Trying to shine a light of hope for those going through this most difficult, and unexpected, turn of events with someone in their own family is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I’m never “truly” okay anymore . . . not completely.  There is always a sorrow in my heart now because of what my baby girl has decided to do to herself.  Without Jesus Christ in my life – I most certainly would not be able to make it from one day to another.

I find it extremely heartbreaking that being able to have your own opinion and/or belief about this phenomenon of gender change, and expressing it on social media is unacceptable to the world today.  Yet – if those who are all for it post about how they feel – then there is nothing that can be said in opposition to their opinion on the subject.  There is literally “no” give and take with those who are “gung-ho” on the idea of transgenderism.  This astonishing and rapidly growing group of confused individuals preach “tolerance” all the time – yet are not at all tolerant with anyone who is against their position on it.  Surprisingly – there’s not even real tolerance toward the family of someone who has made such a life-changing decision.  It amazes me that people are always calling Christians hypocrites . . . I’ve never seen such hypocritical behavior as those “preaching” they’re all for tolerance yet cannot show tolerance themselves . . . even to their own family.

Here is a ‘fact’ about the transgender movement – whether any of them accept it or not . . Changing your birth gender has never been widespread and/or commonplace until just recently.  Yes, there have been cases “here and there” over a long period of time, but it has literally taken society (mainly our children) by storm during the last decade . . . In 1966, the “first” public report on having gender surgery was made in the United States.  And with that came the beginning of people trying to change who God made them to be.  Being widespread and/or something commonly seen or heard about hasn’t happened until recently . . . I “do” know this fact because I was alive back in the 60’s and on.  Believe me – there is NO long history of this transgender idea because it would have been in the news just like it was with the few and far between incidents of those who surgically altered their bodies.  Sadly – there isn’t enough research on the complete effects of taking hormones into someones body of the opposite sex.  Doctors cannot give true and accurate findings since there are no records containing research on the facts with this kind of hormone replacement therapy or HRT.  They are discovering things, as time is passing, for those individuals who have chosen to change their physical appearance to the opposite sex with HRT.

In theory it is quite simple really . . . If someone wants to be the opposite gender, they can ‘learn’ to become the opposite of their birth gender and everything will be just fine. At least, this is what doctors tell the person who wants to change their sex.  It has been documented that this theory doesn’t work – that it is actually a failure when pursued. Cosmetic surgery isn’t gonna satisfy anyone for the rest of their lives . . . All we have to do is look at someone like Michael Jackson. He had surgery after surgery – kept having changes made to his face . . . Is that what made him overdose??   I highly doubt that . . . Just like having surgery to cosmetically change a person’s gender doesn’t always lead them to committing suicide. However, it is a fact that the suicide rate is the highest percentage among those who have Gender Identity Disorder.  A whopping 41% of transgender people will attempt suicide at some point in their life.  That should flash a warning light to ANY doctor, and give them the desire to try and provide alternatives to their patients before starting gender change therapy.  It is a well-known fact that kids will grow up playing with toys that we may label are for the opposite gender . . . ALL children do this, and it’s absolutely normal.  It’s not a “sign” that the little one is supposed to be the opposite sex!!  When these kids are grown up, 95% of them have no thoughts of trying to change their birth gender.

I genuinely appreciate Mr. Walt Heyer for writing about his experience with gender change surgery.  His research on the subject is extensive, especially since he has personally struggled with the issue throughout his life . . . He went from being a man with a wife and children, to changing his body to a woman and lived his life “as” a woman for 8 years . . . Then he decided to return to his birth gender.  The man has literally spent his adult life involved with this transgender notion . . . Now, he is finally happy as the man God created him to be . . . and he is trying to be a help to transgender people.

I must add some of his writing from the last book that I read . . . It is on point – at least for him – and most likely for the majority of our youth who are being sucked into this strange – surgically altered – life that’s literally a “pretend” world.  The following quotes are all taken from “Gender, Lies and Suicide”. . . I do highly recommend this book for those of you who want to read more about this subject. . .

(Page 121-123)

“Family members, including children, in mind-twisting bewilderment cannot grasp what drove their loved one to abandon their entire family, friends and their very birth gender.  It is like they ran off to live in a gender cult where no real genders exist or are wanted . . .”

[Once the process of changing genders is started] “You lose touch with what is real.  Reality fades as you slip into the marginalized and unknown twisted transgender world.  You, and everyone who knows you, all start to wonder how this great person, even a smart person, stepped into this delusional, unyielding world of twisted genders.”

“Unfortunately in our culture, we have universally embraced the lies that say you can change your gender.  By embracing the lies we have greatly marginalized, suspended and given up on the truth.  The truth is:  it is medically, surgically and scientifically impossible to manufacture a female from a male or vice versa.  Sure, you can surgically mutilate genitals on a man or add tissue to a woman to make genitalia that look like that of the opposite gender.  That would be the surgically manufactured transgender sex gender.”

“. . . families and beloved friends, are desperate to pull the transgender-to-be from the sinking sand.  Most often we don’t find out how entrenched they are until it is too late and they have fallen out of reach.  We feel helpless.  It looks like the quicksand will have a life-long hold on our loved one.”

“The entire transition is filled with mystery to the one undergoing it, but to onlookers it appears very self-centered and narcissistic, and in fact, it is.  The delusional idea that ingesting heavy doses of hormones and undergoing multiple surgical procedures can change one’s gender is pure fantasy.  Living and acting in a gender persona you are not is pure Hollywood make-believe.”

“The transgender advocates envelope the gender changer in a cult-like way, closing the circle and keeping puzzled family and friends out.  Transgenders have often been molested or experienced incest, family alcoholism, or drug-addicted parents – all issues known to directly cause psychiatric depressive issues.”

(Page 130-131)

“Anyone who does not support them (LGBT) is labeled a homophobe, bigot and transphobe.  That’s fine with me; the truth will win.”

“Have no doubts.  Transgenders are not formed in the womb but evolve slowly from unresolved childhood family issues, unresolved psychological disorders and other overlooked secondary disorders the activist therapists refuse to acknowledge exist.  I know from all the letters I get and also from my own life experience that the current method of diagnosing a transgender is so darn pathetic it qualifies as a joke.  There has been no improvement made in diagnosing transgenders over the last thirty years.  My own trip down that path led to my surgery 30 years ago and nothing has changed since then.  I hear often from transgenders and their family members who tell me the same sad story today.  Today political correctness stymies scientific research.”

(Page 133-135) This is from Mr. Heyer’s Chapter titled “Personal Message to Transgenders.”

“Transgenders who enter in a surgical gender transformation commit birth gender suicide 100% of the time.  Thirty percent – those who lose their lives to suicide – will have no opportunity to return to redeem their lost gender but you do.”

“Gender suicide is the only one you can come back from.  You can redeem your birth gender all for the asking if you have an unwavering desire to come back.  Along with the redeeming of your birth gender you will redeem your dignity, health, happiness and relationships and you will see blessings and favor you never, ever, thought possible.  Everything is returned back to you if you desire to redeem yourself.  This I know is true – it is my testimony of life today.”

“You know you did not actually change.  The theatrical cosmetic surgery made you look different but under it all it is still your heart pumping away, waiting for you to return and love the old you in a new life free of pain and sorrow.”

“Many are addicted to the transgender life, no different than the heroin addict with a needle stuck in his arm, not living a real life at all, just an empty, pain-filled shell of a person looking for a way out.  There is a way out but the catch is you’ve got to hit bottom and admit you were wrong.  Perhaps you would have been better off at the very beginning fighting the poison but you drank it and succumbed.”

“If you want a better life, redeeming your gender is a good start.  Not that old broken heartache life, but your original gender in a new life.”

“If you really want the jubilee life with healthy relationships, even with your family, like I have, then it is time to look at faith.  It will be your ticket out so you can join the jubilee celebration.  No doubt that well of poison will whisper out to you, calling you back to all the pain, sorrow, brokenness, and despair but that is no real life at all.”

(Page 138)

“All the studies in this book show a sex change is filled with heartache, sickness, pain, living in poverty or ending in suicide.  Now that is a poison well but you do not need that well and can have a much better life than you ever dreamed possible.”

“You can, if you want, stop hurting your family and others, sucking on an empty baby bottle of empty promises and empty dreams.  It’s your choice.  I’m glad I let go of the man from hell.  He can go die without me.”

“Sucking down the transgender poison is killing you.  You can instead do what I did.”

“Today my life is fabulous because I turned to Jesus.  I removed myself from a life that was poisoning me.  Now I’m free from the old disorders.”

“You can enjoy the jubilee where everything of true value that was lost is given back to you: everything your bad choices took from you or you threw away by how you lived your masquerade life.  You still have to live with the physical scars from all those surgeries but you’ll get back everything that matters.”

~ In Conclusion ~

This man – Mr. Walt Heyer – has a tremendous testimony, and I had to share some of it in this blog for parents to read, and for those “trapped” in the transgender world to read . . . If this portion of Mr. Heyer’s testimony touches just one person’s heart, then it was well worth spending the time to share it.  Remember – this man has been involved in and a part of the transgender world.  He has felt and gone through everything a transgender experiences.  The physical changes to his body . . . as well as the emotional changes that literally do alter the personality of those who are on HRT.

To parents who are dealing with a transgender child . . . I must say that having a relationship with Jesus Christ would be the biggest help for you.  With Him to lean on, talk to in prayer, and guide you through every day when you feel that you just can’t go on, you will find a strength and peace that you’ve never felt before.  All you can do is pray for and love your child – always.

To the transgender child in my life . . . my precious baby girl . . . my emotions, as well as the emotions of your family that were here for your short visit in August, have been at an all-time “high” since seeing you.  We love the person you are – underneath what you are doing to yourself.  The “real” you that is buried deep within somewhere, is one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and I’m not saying that just because you are my child.  Your nephew/brother – misses the Auntie/sister he has known and loved all of his life . . . In fact, he misses “her” so much that he breaks into tears whenever he is asked anything about you . . . He does the same thing when anyone around him talks about what you are doing to yourself . . . It’s an extremely painful thing for that little boy to see happen to someone he loves so very much.  That’s the way it feels to all of us who love you Elizabeth.  All of this leads to the most important question that we didn’t get to ask you while you were here . . . Are you absolutely, positively certain that you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart when you were a young girl??  I am asking you this – just as I asked your brother one Sunday afternoon when he was in town on his truck – because I’m getting older and won’t be around forever.  Mama needs to “know” that you are truly saved, and that I will see you again one day in heaven . . . because I love you sweetheart.

***All quoted material in the above blog, comes from “Gender, Lies and Suicide” by Mr. Walt Heyer – with permission***


Wow!! What Else Can be Said??

I finally got finished reading “Paper Genders” written by Walt Heyer. This is yet another book I would highly recommend people read. Walt Heyer is a man who had gender altering surgery, and lived many years as a “female”, then had surgery to return to his biological sex. I’ve watched him on YouTube, as he has told the story of his own personal regret in having changed (or tried to) his biological sex. I believe his statement in the Introduction of this book to be true – “I think researchers will eventually find that the symptom of wishing to identify as the opposite gender originates from many disparate medical and psychological issues, rather than a one-size-fits-all diagnosis.” 

He points out just how horrible it is to regret having “sex-change” surgery, and that many people who actually have surgeries do end up regretting it.  Sadly, the media keeps quiet when it comes to these facts.  Instead they focus on how sex change surgeries can be performed (although they still cannot literally alter the person’s biological sex) – now days these procedures are glamorized.  The media could easily be held accountable for their “one-sided” reporting on this ever-growing and popular subject.

The suicide rate in transgender people is 41 percent, and that’s more than 25 times the rate of the general population.  And for trans people who are 18-44, the suicide attempt rate was 45 percent.  These numbers are from a survey released in 2010, so they could be much different 7 years later – and I truly doubt the numbers would show any improvement as far as lessening the mortality rate in the transgender population.  The numbers are from an online site created to provide online support for all transgender people and their families.  They are based on crisis calls over a 5 year time frame.  This site states there are common problems dealing with those who decide to try and alter their gender.

“Common problems are strokes, heart attacks, silicone injections and deep vein thrombosis.  There are also thousands of cases of unreported violence leading to death.”  (Page 2)

“The gender change activists would argue the suicides are a direct result of bullying, a popular scapegoat these days.  The advocates also say a lack of transgender acceptance and the difficulty of being gender variant in a society of heterosexuals lead to suicides, but as the last transgender support site disclosed, transgenders harm themselves either by cutting or self-mutilation, which points to deep unresolved psychological issues.

“Estimates of transgender suicide attempts vary widely, from 20 to 50%, depending on the study group and geographic location of the study.  (Government sources do not track transgender statistics.)  But no matter where in the range it falls, the high death rate should alarm us all and be the positive proof that switching of genders is neither safe nor effective as a treatment for gender disorders or depression.” (Page 3)

Three doctors were in favor of gender altering for anyone who desired to do so.  Something that I found rather sickening is that these doctors all were advocates of pedophilia.  At least one of them, Dr. Alfred Kinsey, saw nothing wrong with bestiality, incest, adultery, prostitution, group sex, transvestitism, sadomasochism – and this man actually worked to overthrow any law that prohibited any of these perversions.

Dr. John Money – who was connected to John Hopkins University – was also the co-founder of the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic in the 1960s.  He and his team of surgeons started a trend in changing genders – sadly his work set out to redefine male and female.  In October, 1966 news spread throughout America that Dr. Money had changed a man into a woman.

“He delivered what he said was “sex change” surgery to mainstream America. This man’s ego could not be contained.  Later, the term sex change was replaced with gender reassignment.  Let’s call it paper genders because the only change is on paper – birth certificate, driver’s license, and so forth.” (Page 9)

“We as a society have now become enmeshed with the growing number of political sexual activists.  When the truth is inconvenient, we exclude it.  When facts get in the way, we make up our own, no matter how absurd or foolish . . . The absurdity of being asked to believe that a surgeon with a scalpel can change someone’s gender is the greatest medical fraud in our lifetime.” (Page 10)

Something that remains hidden from the general public is the dark side in all of their attempts at “changing” someone from the gender they were born with.  The fact is that 30 to 50% of transgender patients commit suicide – either before they have surgery to change their gender, or during the years following their surgery.  This is a fact that is still true today.

There was an account in this book that is absolutely heartbreaking.  It involved a set of twin boys born in 1965.  Suffice it to say, Dr. Money put on a terrific show about how he dealt with this set of twins.  Proclaimed loudly that “gender was learned” and not something we are born with.  He went so far as to stick to his belief that everything was just fine with the twins.

In 2000, the twins went public with their story of how Dr. Money had treated them, and it was not a pretty picture.  Clearly – the young men exposed how twisted and wrong the “doctor” was in the way he had dealt with them ever since they were 2 years old.  Sadly both of these young men ended their own lives before they were 40 years old.  Yes – they were twin boys.  “David” was never a well-adjusted, happy, female.

In 1975, Dr. Jon Meyer conducted a study on 50 of the transsexuals who had been treated at the Gender Identity Clinic – of which he had been the chairman of since 1969.

“On August 10, 1979, he announced his results, which were far different than Money’s a decade before.  “To say that this type of surgery cures psychiatric disturbance is incorrect.  We now have objective evidence that there is no real difference in the transsexual’s adjustment to life in terms of jobs, educational attainment, marital adjustment and social stability,” he said.” (Pages 14-15)

Dr. Paul McHugh came to the following conclusion after a study was done on 50 interviews with people who requested – and went through with – the unusual “sex change” surgery. . .

“We saw the results as demonstrated that just as these men enjoyed cross-dressing as women before the operation so they enjoyed cross-living after it.  But they were no better in their psychological integration or any easier to live with.  With these facts in hand I concluded that Hopkins was fundamentally cooperating with a mental illness.  We psychiatrists, I thought, would do better to concentrate on trying to fix their minds and not their genitalia.” (Page 15)

Dr. Jon Meyer – the man who actually conducted the study said the following …

“My personal feeling is that surgery is not a proper treatment for a psychiatric disorder, and it’s clear to me that these patients have severe psychological problems that don’t go away following surgery.” (Page 16)

With the results of this study being completely contrary to Dr. Money’s reports of success, there was closure of “almost” all of the affiliated gender clinics across the country.  But thanks to Dr. Money’s fraud – the damage done by “proving” sex change surgery was successful had already been planted in people’s minds . . . Thus, gender surgery has been a big hit in America.

There are standards that have been written and adopted by these doctors who do sex change surgery.  Problem is – the guidelines are not being adhered to.  There are certain steps that should be taken with every individual who wants to have their gender permanently altered with surgery.  The standards state that a psychologist is supposed to evaluate the “candidate” through multiple sessions before approval is obtained for gender change surgery.  In 1981, there was one instance where an approval letter was given to a person after having one 45-minute office visit.  This shows that these so-called “standards” are more like a speed limit sign – most often they are not followed.

Here is a quote from Dr. Harry Benjamin – one of those who are for sex change operations…

“One must understand the main problem of transsexuals.  In English, it is properly named “gender dysphoria”, i.e. a discrepancy between anatomy and sexual self-identification.  It does not follow that one should perform surgery in every case, because there are cases in which such surgery is later regretted, sometimes many years later.  Many transsexuals may also manage without surgery as long as they are being treated with hormones and can wear the clothing of the desired (more precisely: truly felt) sex.  At the same time, some psychotherapy should be provided.  As I said, this can occasionally be a tolerable solution.  I myself am for the operation, but it should be applied critically and cautiously.” (Page 19)

Dr. Benjamin’s words – still true – are totally forgotten.

Here are the main things I’ve found so far – facts about changing genders … There is truly no gender change made except on paper.  There is a very high risk of suicide for those who pursue permanently attempting to change their physical appearance.  No matter which way the decision is made (just using hormones or altering their physical appearance) – the family they were born into basically loses that family member.

I was appalled to learn that a “doctor” by the name of Norman Spack began injecting hormone blockers into children between the ages of 7 to 12 years old in 2005!!  Young children cannot begin to understand anything about sexuality – including a decision that involves their own gender.  ANY parent that would even consider having one of their children injected with such a life changing thing “before” they even begin puberty should have their head examined!!!

Even with using these hormone blockers, all of the doctors in the world cannot change the DNA of any human being alive – ever . . . If that doesn’t provide enough evidence to PROVE that God makes every individual exactly the way He wants them to be – gender included – then, I don’t know what it will take to remove the blinders that society (and a handful of doctors) have had placed on their faces . . .

“The routine practice of abortion as just one more method of birth control promotes the view that it’s okay to kill an unborn child simply for the convenience of the parents.  Homosexual and transgender activists have become increasingly successful in getting laws passed that further their agenda.  When combined, the effects on how we as a society perceive children are staggering, providing a backdrop for experimenting on children.” (Page 27)

I can honestly say that I truly pity the parents and children in today’s society.  Every family is faced with outside influences and agendas that are aimed completely at our youth . . .

“In 2007 … Thanks to SB777, written by and advanced by a lesbian who has no kids in school, the public schools are now ground zero for advocating homosexuality and gender change.  The homosexual, lesbian, and transgender extremists quietly won a major assault on children’s minds.  SB777 requires schools to not just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic, but mandates that when school children as young as kindergarten participate in school- sponsored activities, those activities must positively portray cross-dressing, sex change, and all aspects of homosexuality.  The word “all” includes pedophilia.” (Pages 27 – 28)

Sadly, our society is faced with “surgery happy” doctors who are much too quick to push for this life altering surgery – and basically they won’t even contemplate alternatives with their patients.  As long as the doctors can find a way to make sex change surgery “medically necessary”, then insurance companies or the government will pay anywhere from $25,000 to $70,000 for every patient.  All that is done, literally, is cosmetic surgery – and there is nothing medically necessary about that.

“Medically necessary is amputating a limb because of gangrene infection.  Medically necessary is providing prescription medication for depression in concert with good and constant long-term psychotherapy.  Not medically necessary is removing perfectly good body parts or giving some guy breast implants so he can cosmetically look different.” (Page 35)

Dr. Spack – the fella who will give hormone blockers to children as young as 7 years old – says those children should wait until they are 16 years of age . . . He says that by 16, they are old enough to understand the long-term consequences of going through with gender change.

“Researchers across the country have collaborated in a large project to map the development of the brain from childhood through adulthood.  What they have found is that the very areas in the brain that provide the ability to plan for the future and foresee consequences do not mature until the early 20s.” (Page 35)

“Says Dr. Jay Giedd of the National Institute of Mental Health:  “Teens are capable of enormous intellectual and artistic accomplishments.  But that basic part of the brain that give us strategies and organizing and perhaps warns us of potential consequences isn’t fully on board yet.” (Page 35)

“Dr. Andrew Garner of the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that the adolescent brain is still developing through the teen years and not yet fully mature until age 24.” (Page 36)

“Spack feels kids have the maturity to know how they will respond years later to making a gender change but research shows that the brain is not mature enough to understand.  Psychologists with educated mature brains struggle to understand the implications of gender issues and their treatment, how then can we expect a teenager to comprehend them?” (Page 36)

The real and “sorry” truth of psycho-surgery is that there has been no real help for a significant percentage of those having gender surgery – and the results of treatment leaves a trail of broken lives and families.

It was amazing to read about the “frontal lobotomy”, a much acclaimed surgical procedure for “low functioning” people that began in the 1930s and 1940s.  The history of the procedure should have taught our society a great deal about using surgeries that are irreversible and have the potential to destroy lives – but that history hasn’t taught us anything.

“Lobotomies changed low functioning people into simple apathetic objects who just stared off into space and needed care for the rest of their lives.” (Page 55)

“Gender surgery is irreversible and changes people, too.  After surgery, they are neither man nor woman but plastic surgical configurations of male or female that do not fit into either world.  They commit suicide and/or regret the surgery.  Some, after many years, want to return to their birth gender even though, sadly, their genitalia no longer match that gender.”

“Yet, the radical, irreversible, life-changing gender surgery has grown in acceptance and in use as treatment for depression and mental disorders over the ensuing decades.  Amazing how its progress mirrors the practice of lobotomy.  Even with the prevalence of suicides, alcoholism, drug addition, regret and disappointment that follows gender change surgery, it continues to be heralded as the treatment of choice.  Just like they did with the lobotomy years ago, the very practitioners of the treatment are the ones defining success so that serious side effects aren’t considered, and the media cooperates to glamorize the wonder and success of the treatment.  Activists and doctors loudly campaign to expand the use of treatment and discourage any other form of intervention for gender issues.” (Pages 55-56)

There is a 40-year history in regard to the frontal lobotomy.  That gives us just a glimpse into how long it can take to actually “see” the results when surgery is used to treat a psychological disorder.  I cannot truly understand a doctor plunging an ice pick into the brain of one of my children – and that’s how lobotomies were done for many years . . . It’s a procedure that I would not have given permission to be done on my child without a whole lotta research being done on it – and believe me, I would’ve dug deep enough that I would have found what happened in the majority of the patients who had gone through a frontal lobotomy.

“It is difficult to tell the difference between the insanity of the asylum patients from the insanity of the physician who would plunge an ice pick into someone’s brain.  How about the practice of cutting off a man’s genitals or injecting a ten-year-old boy with powerful drugs to stop the natural development of male puberty?  Who is sicker, the patient or the doctor?”  (Page 59)

Reading this book has brought back the “fact” that doctors are licensed – not because they know exactly what needs to be done for any patient they see.  They are taught well in Medical School, but that in no way makes them the final authority on any human beings physical, emotional, or mental health.  They are licensed to “practice medicine”. . .

Gender surgeons today testify that gender change has a very high rate of success by failing to include the suicides, regret, medical problems, and those who return to their birth gender.  Researchers and doctors will hide facts, twist the results and hide failures from their peers and public in order to protect their practice and prestige.  Meanwhile, the lives of patients are irreparably damaged.” (Page 71)

“In the name of political correctness, differing views are silenced, even views based on objective evidence.  By insisting on political correctness, activists enjoy unchecked freedom to promote any myth they want.” (Page 95)

“Over the years, people have said that homosexuality is developed in the womb.  The Human Genome Project identified all the genes in human DNA and found no homosexual gene existed (no transgender gene either).  Scientifically, to say that a gay gene causes homosexuality is not supported by DNA studies . . . Therefore, homosexuality, life transgenderism, is far more likely to have been evolving during childhood development or perhaps later in life.” (Pages 95-95)

“As a person who was subjected to frequent childhood molestations and abuses perpetrated by an adult, I say this:  anyone who supports, engages in, or identifies with pedophilia in any way, shape or form is a very sick individual who should be put away.  I find it appalling that anyone could even consider the decriminalization of child abuse.  I will never in my lifetime be able to shake off the psychological effects of that childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my uncle.”

“Young kids are impressionable and as the brain research shows, early experiences shape them, in good ways or in harmful ways.” (Page 97)

I have got to agree with the author, I’ve never seen anyone not have problems of some kind after being molested/abused at a young age and/or it lasting over a long period of time . . . And quite honestly, those usually go hand in hand.  Mr. Heyer has the experience of being molested and abused as a child and readily admits that it did “play a part” in his adult decision to become a woman for several years.  He has not written this book from a Christian perspective – quite the opposite.  I have gleaned much information from all of his hard work and I have learned from his own life experience.  He is a good man, and has a true desire to help those who have the same problems he has suffered with. He wrote this book from a worldly position, and it is filled with statistics, history, and actual reports and findings of results that people ignore.

“We seem to be pushovers, not even putting up much of a fight, as if we are all hypnotized and brain-dead.  All the while, activists are redefining marriage and gender identity, and advancing pedophilia as normal.” (Page 98)

“Transgenders whine that their civil rights are being denied like those of blacks before the advent of the Civil Rights Movement.  I find this to be a very shameful and unfortunate comparison.  Blacks were relegated to poor housing and the back of the bus, and were hung by ropes in trees.  Blacks simply wanted freedom to sit in a restaurant, take any seat on the bus, vote, and not live in fear for their lives.  All very good reasons to want freedom and I’m happy these things changed. . . Unlike our black brothers and sisters who are black at birth, transgenders were not born as transgenders; it took life experiences, hormones, and a surgical procedure.”

“The truth is:  transgenders are treated like rock stars.  Movies and television shows glorify their life.  They march in gay pride parades.  Transgenders can sit in any restaurant, in fact they own many restaurants, and they can take any seat on the bus.  They not only can vote, in fact, they are a very influential voting block.  They go to the very best schools and universities in this country with freedom and protections in every state, but they want more, much more.  They are redefining the very core of men, women and families. (Page 99)

“We as a society have become so accustomed to looking the other way when confronted with lies, that we become the living fabric of the lies.  When the truth is inconvenient, we just exclude it.  When facts get in the way, we make up our own.  No matter how absurd or foolish the argument; even when faced with overwhelming objective evidence to the contrary, we swallow the lie.” (Page 103)

I’ve read several articles and books on this transgender ideology, and there is one common thing I have found in all that I have read.  Unhappiness with a person’s life, is that commonality.  Upon realizing this one fact, it occurred to me that every living human being goes through a variety of times when they are unhappy with their life.

Being unhappy with your life is definitely not the criteria that should be used when evaluating someone for gender change (cosmetic) surgery.  In the end, unhappiness will always be there because that’s an emotional thing – not something physical.  Trying to change the gender we are born as to the opposite sex, is comparable to filing for a divorce simply because my spouse made me feel unhappy last week.

There are many ways to make changes in our lives that will enable our happiness.  Changing, or trying to change, who we were born as, really isn’t the best plan of action for anyone seeking happiness in life.  If a person is seeking true and lasting happiness, making superficial changes to their outward appearance isn’t gonna help.  All the changes we can make on the outside of our body, has absolutely nothing to do with our emotions.  The real person cannot be touched or changed by all the knife-wielding doctors out there who are ready to cut us up into something completely foreign from the way God created us to be.


How Many Churches

Very well thought out and written……

Revival Or Decay Ministries

I have driven all over the USA in the short time (2 years) I have been an over the road truck driver – small towns, big cities, North, South, East and West – and there is something that I have noticed, and it is bothering me to the core. The Lord has put this situation on my heart – and I believe it is part of my message – Just how many churches do we need??

In the southeast – there are beautiful towns… Small towns, with southern hospitality, where the people still say “God Bless you” – but there are also times when I see five, six or EVEN SEVEN churches within two or three miles of each other.. Now what, pray tell is this? Is it, my friend, that there are just an abundance of people who appear in this town of 500 people on Sunday, that they…

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Another Book Read – Another Blog Written

I just finished reading “Transgender: A Talking Points Book” written by Vaughn Roberts. Yet again, this is a book that I would highly recommend to anyone who has a loved one involved in this “new” concept that seems to be sweeping this country by storm.

Since the transgender movement has personally touched my life and family, I’ve been able to discuss the issue with a variety of people from all walks of life.  Through those I’ve spoken with, I’ve gotten almost the same amount of opinions on the subject.  Human beings don’t have the answers that are meaningful and/or necessary on the issue of the transgender ideology, but the Word of God does.  What better authority to seek than the One who created every unique individual on the earth.  The author of the above book caught my attention in the first paragraph of the introduction.

“Christians living in the Western culture have enjoyed the benefits of being in a world which largely shared our assumptions about what is fundamentally right and wrong.  We can no longer assume that this is the case.”  (Page 7)

What this man just said, is alarmingly true.  Personally, I have found fewer people who understand that everything involved with the transgender movement goes completely against God and nature, than those who just don’t seem to care about an issue in today’s society.

Having a baby and going by the “sex” or “gender” the child is born with, seems to not be how we are supposed to class our little ones in life.  However – the Creator of the universe was satisfied with making each of our offspring the gender He decided each would be upon conception.

“Many people have assumptions about what it means to be transgender but, fundamentally, it isn’t about surgery or how someone dresses.  It’s about how they feel inside … Those who identify as transgender may consider themselves heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual (or perhaps, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual), just as the rest of the population might.”  (Page 15)

Wow – what a list of items that can be “pinned” on human beings – all to do with their sexuality.

There is a physical condition that affects a very small percentage of the population who are actually born without the clear distinction of being male or female.  And when that does occur with a birth, there has to be a decision made as to whether the child is more of one gender or the other.  That small percentage of individuals are called “intersex”.  The vast majority of those affected by this condition will grow up and identify as the gender that the doctors recommended to the parents of the baby when it was born.

“By contrast, transgender is to do with how people think or feel.  They are born either male or female, but their feelings about their gender don’t fit with their sex.” (Page 15)

To be clear on this point:

“There is no agreement on what causes gender dysphoria … Some argue the brain-sex theory, according to which transgender people have a male-type brain in a female body, or vice versa.  The evidence for this view is far from conclusive.  After a thorough survey of the evidence Lawrence Mayer and Paul McHugh comment:  “All interpretations, usually in popular outlets, claiming or suggesting that a statistically significant difference between the brains of people who are transgender and those who are not is the cause of transgender or not … are unwarranted.”  Others believe that nurture – psychological environment in childhood – is the dominant factor.  After a thorough survey of the arguments on both sides, one author honestly admits:  “We don’t know what causes gender dysphoria.”  In all the uncertainty, however, one thing is clear:  those who experience gender dysphoria certainly do not simply choose to do so.”  (Page 18)

I honestly believe that there is a faction of our population that wants to – and does – promote the “idea” of transgender.  To hear from parents with children who have not gone through puberty – and they are already caught up in this gender confusion – shows that those youngsters are learning about the “in” thing somewhere.  Let’s face it – our kids hear about most things through their friends, school, television, and social media. Parents are losing touch with their kids at younger ages than ever before, and I highly doubt we will see a return to closeness in the family unit – even though that would do a lot to right many wrongs that are happening in society.

How Should a Christian Respond to the Transgender Movement?

Christians should always do their best to show genuine love and compassion toward every human being we come into contact with.  Most of us can only imagine the distress and pain that is undoubtedly a part of gender dysphoria.  It is vital that Christians never think or talk with any disrespect about those who struggle with the issue of their gender. We must do our best to show everyone the love of God.  It is important that we not speak in a way they find hurtful and/or degrading.  Granted, there will be situations where we are gonna make mistakes because we are all human beings – but we shouldn’t intentionally say anything hurtful to anyone.

For myself – personally – that means that I need to “think” before I speak, and most usually that will change the way I say something.  I always have to stop and think “WWJD”, what would Jesus do – what would Jesus think or say – how would Jesus react to this – and the list goes on and on.

Along this same line of thinking, Christians need to always remember that God will never condone or be “okay” with anyone who decides to literally attempt to change who He made them to be.  That is something that doesn’t go over well in the transgender circle – yet, there are those caught up in gender dysphoria who claim to be Christians.

Be sure that God never changes – human beings do, but not Him.

Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)”

Hebrews 10:26-27 “For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgement and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.”

Hebrews 10:31 “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

Today, there are even “Christians” who feel like this:

“Modern authenticity encourages us to create our own beliefs and morality, the only rule being that they must resonate with who we feel we really are.  The worst thing we can do is to conform to some moral code that is imposed on us from outside – by society, our parents, the church, or whoever else.  It is deemed to be self-evident that any such imposition would undermine our unique identity … The authentic self believes that personal meaning must be found within ourselves or must resonate with our one-of-a-kind personality.” (Page 27)

“Over the last few decades the primacy of self-expression has become an unquestioned assumption of many.  No one has the right to question or challenge how each individual chooses to define themselves.” (Page 28)

“Judith Lorber, a radical feminist, writes … When we no longer ask “boy or girl?” in order to start gendering an infant, when the information is as irrelevant as the colour of a child’s eyes … only then will men and women be socially interchangeable and really equal.  And when that happens there will no longer be any need for gender at all.” (Page 28)

In our world today, we have a deeply rooted conviction.  Everyone is free to define who they are however they wish, and nobody has the right to question that.  The change in the attitudes of professionals is shown like this.  In 1994, someone having gender issues was said to have “gender identity disorder.”  That was changed in 2013 to “gender dysphoria.”  Emphasis was changed from the disorder to the distress that accompanies it.

“Approaches to treatment have also changed.  Any attempt to try to “correct” a person’s gender identity so that it conforms to their biological sex is now increasingly seen as unacceptable.  It is now the body rather than the mind that is often treated, with hormones or surgery being used to change the body so it conforms to a person’s sense of identity … A group of American pediatricians have spoken our saying, “Young children are being permanently sterilized and surgically maimed under the guise of treating a condition that would otherwise resolve in over 80% of them.” (Page 31)  The same pediatricians called that “criminal”.  That same group of doctors described it by comparing it to a person who suffers with anorexia.  “Surgery to “affirm” the patient’s false assumption that they are overweight, perhaps by liposuction, might reduce their emotional distress, but it will not have addressed the underlying psychological problem and will result in significant physical harm, even death.” (Page 32)

Most Christians know the Gospel according to God’s Holy Word.  God’s Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, is who leads to freedom and fulfillment. The world uses a different “gospel” story …

“For years our spirits have been suffocated by restrictive traditions and morality. But now we must have the courage to follow our own light.  We must resist anyone or anything that stands in our way.  We must discover the hero inside ourselves and enter into the freedom that comes when we become who we really are.” (Page 34)

It is a most difficult thing to discuss something that can hurt another individual so very deeply – yet, sometimes it’s necessary to talk of the truth.  And that is what I’m offering to every Mama on the internet the ability to become involved with others who have children in the same boat.  I know from my own experience that talking to others about what you are going through, does nothing but ‘help’ you with your own emotions and the roller coaster ride that you will also be riding … None of this is easy – and that goes for everyone who is living with this kind of situation involving members of your family.

Please feel free to contact me directly through my email,, if you would like to just be able to talk to someone.  I’m not necessarily full of advice, but I do have a listening ear, a caring heart, and the ability to pray for you and your circumstances.

Transgender Decisions Do Affect the Entire Family

When traumatic events take place within a family unit it doesn’t only affect one person, it has an affect on every person in that family.  My own family has experienced its share of events that have ultimately changed some of our relationships with one another.  Whether it is through the death of a family member, a personal tragedy through friendships, severe marital problems, etc., we cannot expect life to continue as ‘normal’ when there is an event that literally alters relationships.

Close families are ideal – at least I’ve always felt that way.  There is no greater joy than having a close relationship with your family members.  I grew up in a close family, so I was thankful to witness my own little family become the same way.  We’ve had severe tragedy strike our family, but every time we have pulled together and managed to make it through with God being at the center of it all.  Without having Jesus Christ at the helm of your home, I believe your chances of weathering the storms in this life are lessened by a large margin.

Most of my family and friends know how I feel and believe when it comes to the transgender movement.  Honestly – I can say it wouldn’t be something I’d spend much time on, if it didn’t have a devastating impact on my own family.  I wonder how many people are holding up signs that are “pro” whatever you wanna do with your body is just fine – when deep inside those same people are “thankful” that what they are for, isn’t something that one of their own loved ones has decided to do in their life.  Yeah – everything is just fine, unless it touches one of your family members.  That’s something wrong with today’s Christianity.  I, personally – as a Christian, want to change that in myself … whether something “touches” my life or not … I wanna speak up for what’s right in this world that’s following such a dark path.  All too often, we Christians will take the easy road through things that go completely against God’s Word and creation.

I’ve been reading some books on the transgender topic, and I must say that what I’ve read so far fits myself and my family very well.  Most likely, if you have a loved one with gender confusion, what I’ve found would fit you and your situation too.  In my family, the stakes are TOO HIGH for me to simply sit down and be quiet.  One of my biggest blessings in this life – a piece of my heart – my precious baby girl, is one such person affected by this gender confusion.

After discovering that our daughter was beginning Testosterone shots in August, 2015, I have tried to read and learn as much as possible on the topic.  I just recently finished reading a book entitled, “Transgender Confusion A Biblical Based Q&A For Families”.  It is written by Denise Shick.  I would highly recommend this book to the families who are dealing with a loved one trapped by a very real disorder.  Yes, Gender Identity Disorder is real, and it is psychological.  It is a condition that should be treated through therapy and possibly with medication as well.  It is NOT a physical condition, and does not require a ‘blank check’ being written for hormone replacement therapy and/or cosmetic surgery.  Yet, the latter choice seems to be the treatment for anyone suffering from this psychological problem.  Denise Shick put it this way in her book.  “The earlier the treatment is offered, the better one’s outcome is likely to be in coming to terms with and embracing his or her God-given gender.”  (Page 12)

From the moment I read the introduction to the above book, I was anxious to read more. Here is an excerpt from that introduction.

Ten years ago, few had ever heard the term transgender.  When I was a child, virtually no one had heard the term.  Oh, how things have changed in less than one generation. These days you cannot watch or read the news without hearing a story of this rapidly escalating movement in which truth and fantasy have become synonymous and lives are destroyed daily.  Yet, in spite of all the publicity, most people are unaware of the damage the entire family suffers when a loved one falls under the spell of an impression that he or she was born in the wrong body.

The Bible reveals that the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:22).  God made man and woman, each distinctively and purposefully, but our culture has largely rejected even the concept of a God.  And, because of that rejection, our culture has also rejected the sacredness of a person’s God-given gender.  The serpent’s ancient fabrication in Genesis 3:4 – Ye shall not surely die – echoes through our popular media, clinics, and hospital hallways.  But with each transgender makeover, one of God’s creations does die, only to be resurrected in a form foreign to the Creator’s design for that unique individual. (Page 2)

As I live my life from day-to-day, there are people I see who are in the process of changing their body to “fit” the gender they believe themselves to be.  To be sure, it disturbs me to no end.  When I think about my own child making changes to her God-given body, my heart just breaks even more.  In fact, I’ve never felt such an intense pain – and I have suffered many things over my 56 years.  Losing both of my parents in death, hasn’t given me as much pain as I’ve felt over just the ‘thought’ of my beautiful daughter altering her physical body.

Yesterday, I came across several of my little girl’s toys and my heart was filled with such sweet memories of the days when she played and enjoyed life every moment she was awake.  Memories should not bring sadness … they should bring such a sweet calm to you.  Those sweet memories should continue on in your child’s life, not abruptly come to a stop because they no longer exist … your child still exists on the earth – unless, of course, you have lost them through a tragic accident or bad health.  Oh, how many times I’ve wished that keeping quiet would make things just disappear and everything about life would be alright.  Reality doesn’t work that way though, and we must play the cards we are given. It’s a terrible spot for every member of a family that has a loved one who has the notion that they will be happier if they just change their appearance.

Once again this book spoke directly to me … at the very core of the transgender issue…

Various reasons can motivate a person to step out of maleness or femaleness and choose the opposite gender identity.  The point is, both the males and females who choose this drastic change have rejected their God-given gender because of their unhappiness, disappointment, and resentment.  A break has occurred between their heart and soul. (Page 9)

Then, there is the question of whether or not the person was born this way … That’s been used for many years as the excuse for homosexual behavior, so I would guess that it’s also being used as an excuse for the transperson wanting to change ‘who’ they appear to be. Again – the author covers that question in her book…

No studies have proved that anyone has been born transgender. No matter how many cosmetic surgeries and hormones one has ingested, his or her biology, (sex chromosomes), neurology, and genetic composition (DNA) remains unchangeable. The person’s reproductive system is the one he or she was born with.  The born-that-way theories are nothing more than propaganda purported by advocates who want to gain public sympathy and approval. (Page 9)

Actually, some of my first thoughts on the subject of being transgender have now come full circle.  The main and most important one is this … After doing everything a person can do to change themselves into a different person, and one of the opposite sex, absolutely nothing is gonna change on the inside of that human being.  If they are unhappy with who and what they are before changing anything like their appearance – then changing their appearance is certainly not gonna change their feelings of unhappiness.  Sure, they are bound to feel a little different at first – but the sadness, along with all of the other feelings they were experiencing ‘before’ changing their body will return to torment them. We can’t fix something that is psychological by altering our body – that is just a fact.

I do love my daughter, and she knows it. I try not to judge her, or anyone else for that matter. To support her with parental love – I can do that, but I can’t support her in what she has decided to do to herself. That doesn’t mean that I will look at her as a ‘freak’ or anything like that…it simply means that I won’t condone what she has chosen – and she is aware of that and respects me for it. She came out to her Daddy and I16865155_10154319586157011_8547240714859857716_n as being a lesbian when she was a teenager still living at home. She knew that we would never condone/agree with that lifestyle – but we never turned our back on her, or stopped loving her. I appreciate her waiting to ‘alter’ her gender until she moved away from home. To me, that shows that she respects her parents – and shows that she learned the values that we tried to instill in her. I truly believe that our children need to understand that we love them – unconditionally – because we do. Being tolerant only shows them that you accept “whatever” they do. When they have been raised to know right from wrong, then they already know that their parents won’t accept just anything they do, but they also know that their parents will always love them.

You Never Know When You Are Going to Be “Hit”

As the Mama of a transgender person, I am discovering that you can never be sure where things might be said that will absolutely tear your heart out.  Let’s face it, in today’s society the transgender movement and acceptance of their choices, are so commonplace that it no longer matters when you are not able to make a change in how you refer to someone.  This is especially true if the transgender person is your child.

I went through an experience just the other day that I honestly thought I was gonna have a breakdown over.  It was evident that the person who drove me to that point, didn’t care at all about how they made me feel.  And the person didn’t even bother to apologize to me!! All I did was call the DA’s office to inquire about how a case was proceeding – that case involves our family in a huge way.  Our daughter was molested/raped over a 7 month period of time, when she was only 9 and 10 years old.  The assailant was an 18-year-old male whom we had pitied for the extremely sad life he had experienced and allowed to move into our home.  At this time, he has spent 12 years in prison for the crimes he committed against our little girl.  He has 10 years remaining on his sentence – then he has 15 years of parole after he is released from prison.  The lady that I spoke with at the DA’s office was the Victim’s Advocate.  When she asked me how the ‘victim’ was doing and I told her – she began laughing saying that’s so brave of her, then stopped and said excuse me, of “him”.  There were so many emotions that coursed through my being.  This so-called ‘advocate’ has NO idea what my family has been through, and she’s gonna laugh when I’m crying on the phone??  I’m sure this woman has been called on the carpet for the callous way she treated me on the phone – possibly she has lost her job, and that thought doesn’t bother me at all.  A victim of a violent crime – or their family – doesn’t deserve to be treated the way she treated me.

I’ve been walked on, called names, and told that I just “have” to accept the fact that my daughter is actually a son … Well, I’ve got news for the whole world – No, I don’t have to accept that – and “no” she is a daughter!  Shoot, I’ve had members of my own family call me a ‘bigot’!!  I’m not a bigot, and I have always treated people fairly … just look where having compassion on another human being got me?!?!  Having “any” compassion on someone finally returned a couple of years ago … not that I would ever allow a stranger into our home again.  At least, I can ‘feel’ for another human being again, to some extent.  Hey, I was there when she was born … I was there as she began to grow … I was there when she needed me to be  (and I still am) … I have a history of 20 years with a daughter!  So, don’t tell me that I no longer have her…..even though I’ve watched her fade away.

I’m sick of the last page in the book of a very lonely 20-year-old girl …. cause that’s as far as I can go.  I’m not really a part of the new book, it’s not about the baby girl that I gave birth to … Instead it is being written about a “male” who isn’t really a male – she’s only putting a foreign substance into her body.  My heart and mind is filled with the first 20 years of that person’s life – and that’s where it stops. Oh, I can hear it now … how I’ll be told that it doesn’t have to be that way, all you have to do is accept the change your child has decided to make to herself.  In fact, I am told that in different posts on Facebook … and quite frankly, they send a whole stream of emotions through my body.  I’m sure that there are those who say that it is ‘my’ fault that the relationship between myself and my daughter isn’t like it was before.  To that kind of thinking, I can only say that I haven’t been involved with trying to replace her natural hormones with foreign ones – and I would never be involved with doing that to anyone, especially not my own child.

As most people will gladly point out to anyone, no two people are alike.  Now, since that is true, how can someone compare another to some woman (at any other time in history) who could accept one of her children changing their sex?  That’s not even possible … because I am not that woman – if she really existed at all.  Let’s face it, a person who actually changed the sex they were born as, isn’t something that was commonplace a hundred years ago! Okay – let’s say the old Christian Grandma could “understand” one of her children being a transgender … There’s a gigantic difference between understanding and acceptance, too.

With my own family – I can guarantee you 100% that if one of my siblings or myself had said anything about being a transgender, my parents would’ve had a cow!!  In all fairness, they would’ve had the same kind of reaction if I had told them that I was becoming a satanist, too!!   I’ll never forget hearing Daddy say, “If you turn up pregnant, and you’re not married, I will disown you!”  So, reading a meme here or there is not of any consequence to me … nope, I was raised in a different time – and it was not a time when anything like today was talked about, let alone ‘done’… The main thing that was going on during my youth, didn’t have anything to do with which gender I was…and what I thought my gender should’ve been… I never had one thought about ‘maybe I’m supposed to be a guy’.

Ya know, being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs you can have. Rewarding?  Yes, it can be a very rewarding thing to see your child succeed in their life.  The job also carries a lot of low times with it, as well. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again … without the parents, the person who you are trying to get the parents to accept, would  not even exist.  Nobody is gonna convince a Daddy and Mama that they have to accept this “other” person, in place of the sweet little bundle they brought home from the hospital.  Life doesn’t just work the way you want it to … not for anyone … Be it parents, children, grandparents, grandchildren, etc.

The love of family is the strongest bond on earth – and not something to be toyed with.  It’s also not easily broken.


Parents, keep listening to your gut—not the gender therapist

Wow … Here’s something that can be an uplifting thing to parents who are trying to “deal” with their teenager about being transgender. My prayer is that it will be helpful to the parents who can use this lady’s experience in their own lives ❤


A few months ago, my teenage daughter stopped trying to “pass” as male. She dropped the self-defined-as-male uniform, the stereotyped swagger and the fake-deepened voice and just—moved on. Her fervent desire to be seen and treated as a boy faded away, just as other formerly unshakable ideas and urges had in the past. And our relationship has never been better.

Although I’ve allowed myself to exhale, just a little, she will remain at risk, because every sector of society—the media, the government, the schools, medicine and psychology–is now saturated with the message that trans is real; trans is good;  and if you’re a “gender nonconforming” girl, you just might actually be a boy.

What did I, and the other adults who love her, do? It hasn’t been easy. In fact, for a time it was a living hell, a purgatory of slammed doors, stony silence, yelling matches, and mostly—waiting.


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